life

Blessings Guilt

I have a difficult time accepting a compliment.
I have a difficult time accepting a gift.
I have a difficult time knowing that I have enough money to support myself – and beyond that – while also being aware that others have no home, no job, no food, and no little to no belongings.

When it comes to being blessed, I would say I’m in that category. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in the 1% of people, but I am able to pay my bills, have money to spend on the projects that I am passionate about (even if I do have to pay them off), and have a roof, food and a car.

Recently, I was able to purchase a new computer. I use apple computers, so you can imagine (or google) how much THAT costs. When I got the computer onto the desk, and smiled at my new purchase, it hit me almost immediately, that I spent a bunch of $$ on an upgrade for my computer (when the old one did work, but was 10 years old), and other people can’t afford to buy food for themselves.

I felt guilty. I was surprised that I felt guilty. I worked for my money, I wasn’t wasting it on something trivial like a years supply of gummy bears; but it was a lot of money to spend none the less.
I had ‘blessings guilt’. I felt guilty that I was so fortunate to spend that much money on a computer, when others could not.

I had to talk this out with trusted family and friends, and refuse to agree with this nagging doubt that I should feel bad about wasting all that money. Instead, I recognised that I AM blessed, and that through those blessings, I can bless others.

Have you gone out of your way to do something nice for someone else? Someone who doesn’t have the same opportunities as you?
Inspire US with your story!
CG

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